One Way Street

Shhh...
Too Soon
Quiet
Or he might hear you
I feel the words
Ping off my rib cage
Pulse in my ears
Ache in my cheeks.

The tip of my tongue
Rubs against my teeth
As it forms the words
That are too soon to be
Exposed

I...

No. Stop.
The timer hasn't dinged.
Only one side is warmed.
He is not ready.
Eyelashes flutter
Closing the open book
From being read.

Love...

Stop! Do not push.
But the rhythm echoes
and repeats
Like a heartbeat
I feel
In my temples and toes.

You.

There.
You've gone and done it.
Said it.
Spoiled the milk.

And yet...
Why should you regret
A generous truth
Love is a gift
A one way street
To be given without solicitation.
Expectation.
It should bear no fear
Though you bare the fruit.

Love freely,
Altruistically.
And be satisfied in the flow
Of pure Emotion.

Love
Should not be traded
Or elicit response.
It should be handed over
With open palm and heart.

So take my heart
Which is already yours
May it thaw your fingers
When you are cold
Keep you company
When you feel alone
Strengthen your resolve
When you stumble
And light your way back
To your home within me.

Taking Root

I wake at six willingly

swallows singing their wake up call.

dark wet pavement

winding through mossy woods

all else is quiet

With gloves and large brimmed hat

I kneel in tall grass

ready to plant my garden.

azalea

tulip

rhody

and rose.

apple blossoms fall around me

from two giant trees

and I consider a hammock this summer.

I dig in the earth 

humming a tune

content with life taking root.

Flat line.

Listen!

Listen, heart!

Do not turn from me

I tell you

Guard yourself

Mute your pulse

and give nothing away.

Flat line

and save yourself

for the wave is coming

to crash

your sweet dreams

against jagged rocks

of unfairness.

Your body will be broken

and then who will

save you?

Save yourself.

Please.

I will stay with you.

You will not be

Alone.

I cannot swim

but we will drown

together

and at least

the End

will be on our terms.

Addiction.

You are my 

Stimuli

like iced coffee

or Times Square

A thousand synapses

Firing

when you are near

the hairs on my arm

stand in static

electricity

surging

through my veins.

Inspired

I write

with fury and flourish

Ideas.

Pictures.

Stories.

I am caffeinated

endorphinated

making up words

like Billy Shakes.

The high is

Magnificent

My healthy

-unhealthy-

addiction.

I Am Not Playing.

I cannot give you

My Heart.

It is not free.

It does not reach for you.

I am Sorry

to send you back

to the beginning.

What more can I say?

We agreed.

No strings.

No need.

No Games.

And now

you want to play

Monopoly.

Monopolizing my time.

Find another 

partner

to Pass Go

and Collect.

Play Twister with someone

who will place 

Right Hand on Green

Not Red.

I am not playing Poker

This is no bluff

My patience

is running thin.

Go Fish

in another pond
I have no match 

for your card.

Do not be my Pawn.
My Queen is not 

as kind as she seems

And she sees her next move.

I will sacrifice

no piece

No Peace.

There will be no winner

For I never entered the Game to begin with.

Humidity

Steamy subway platforms

dewy windows

Air so thick

you can chew it

Ah yes, I remember you...

Humidity.

We prayed for summer

for tank tops and tans

thinking Vitamin D

would wash away the blues

but we forgot...

Humidity.

Breathing through water

mascara sliding down sticky skin

tempers flaring

and pungent smells of remnants

left by carelessness.

Humidity.

Why the fuck did I straighten my hair today?

Honestly

I cannot lie to you.

That, my friend,

is annoying.

I take both hands

to shove words back inside

but they slip 

between my fingers

ignoring 

convention and

rule

like water 

seeping through pavement.

I yank my heart back

from the edge

as it strains

in desperation.

Do not be the fool again, my dear.

The need to love and touch

burns

like twice swallowed bile.

Repressed

Afraid

Honest.

I must learn to be a better liar.