i had a dream last night
of sunsets and lone walks
of sunkissed elbows and window seats
french doors and balconies
tire swings and cool breezes off the sea
i could smell the autumn leaves
hear them crunch under my feet
i could drive the winding roads of smooth pavement
feel the salty film collecting on my skin.
greens, blues, earth, everywhere.
i knew in my heart, that this was home.
a home i created. a home that was mine. just mine.
there is peace in the quiet.
i dreamed that i could while away the hours
reading on that window seat.
listening to the tinkling of a silly windchime and my own thoughts.
i am barefoot on hard wood floors
i am padding around this house, this porch, with coffee in hand
and silently thanking God for all i have been given.
i could stay like this for hours. days. and just be.
i dreamed it all was real.
Then i woke with an ache in my chest and
tears in my eyes.
i woke to loud music and roommates shouting.
to sweaty sheets and thick air.
to people pushing, to tedium, to shaking fists.
to short tempers and impatience.
grimy gutters and skeezy looks.
i am awake. and i wish i were dreaming.
i am awake. and i wish i had that home.
i want to go home.
to the home i created in a dream.
